Menial Media

All His Father's Sins

2009-01-14T09:43:00.012-07:00

I have the same routine every morning: I turn on my cell phone, do the dishes from the previous-night’s dinner, and check the news. You never know what will break during the night; one morning, I even woke up to discover that Alberta was still a Canadian province and Patrick Swayze had ass cancer. It’s not that I’m a creature of habit - quite the opposite, actually. Just ask my mother (mental note: call mother).

This morning, instead of checking the news, I decided to see what some of my online friends were up to. Sometimes, it’s hard to differentiate between my online friends and my real friends, because neither respond to me.

Twitter was pretty quiet; so was Plurk. Truthfully, I think Plurk is dead to me but that’s beside the point. Facebook, however, is hot with discussion right now.

Normally, I try to steer clear of online debates - mostly, because I can’t stand ppl hoo rite in ‘net shorthand, hav baad grammer an spell rong. Today, for some reason, I made an exception.

The topic was Rahm Emanuel, the Illinois Democrat who was recently appointed as Barack Obama’s Chief of Staff. For the last couple of years, there has been speculation and skepticism over Obama’s political leanings. Now - six days away from his inauguration as President of the United States - and in the middle of his selection of cabinet, news outlets have seemingly given up on exposing corruption on his part and are taking aim at his staff.

Emanuel’s father, Benjamin M. Emanuel, was a member of the Irgun Zvai Le'umi - a militant Zionist group in Palestine in the 1930s and 1940s.

In one particular friend’s Facebook page, the question arose: “I wonder if Obama will explain why he chose the son of a terrorist leader to be his chief of staff?”

My response was as follows: “Are you criticizing one of the most powerful Democrats in the house for something his father did in the '40s”

What followed was one of the most misdirected and accusatory statements thrown at me. Verbatim - spelling mistakes and all - this was the reaction:

“seriously, who is not mind controlled these days? What about your house fool? Obama is a puppet, sean and you critical ability is evidently impaired! Obama has no authority, he's there to fool you, and is obviously doing a fantastic job. You are setting yourself and everyone else up to get scammed again and again by handing over your trust to people who have deceived you again and again and again...... WTFU!”

Not surprisingly, my question was never answered: should a man be persecuted for the actions of his relatives, and who are we to judge the actions of individuals in specific situations with which we have no frame of association?

After much soul-searching, I came to the conclusion that he is right. I’m mind-controlled and a sheep because I asked a question. I believe Obama is a saviour and will repair the financial situation in the US, the housing crisis in Canada, and re-freeze the oceans near the poles to create new ice caps.

It’s all in the plans; I’ve seen it.

I also agree that people should be held accountable for their ancestors’ actions. On a completely unrelated note, I want reparations for slavery. I know I’m half-black and have lived in Canada my entire life but I think I could trace your lineage and make the connection.

Don’t bother trying to answer my question, because you already have. You’re prewired to attack when you hear the word “politics.” A lot of people are built that way. Whether it’s a gag reflex or a reaction that has been built up over the years, that’s just the way you are. I do have a tip for you, though. The next time you feel like attacking someone’s mind and character, don’t let your train derail during your first thought.

In the meantime, you should read The Importance of Effective Communication. While you’re digging through that, I’ll be adding “cash reparations cheque” to my daily to-do list.

- Sean

... But They Still Take Charge...

2008-12-24T19:40:00.001-07:00

I've surrounded myself with people who don't know how to communicate...

Shhhhhh... not yet...

2008-11-04T09:50:00.002-07:00

I have a secret.

Really, it's more of a plan that I can't fully reveal yet. Want to know why?
I'm a horrible planner.
Every time I have an idea, a wish, or a plan in my head - and I start expressing the "what's gonna happens" - I end up slowly shuffling away from the idea altogether.

That's why, this time, my plan is being kept under my hat.

I will, however, be revealing the details of my plan as they unfold.

Thank you for your time.

- SeanJea

Three Things - July 20 - 26, 2008

2008-07-29T13:22:00.018-06:00

There were WAY more than three things I learned this week, but these top the chart. I may have to roll a few over to next week. Don't think of it as cheating; think of it as "creative control" over my own thoughts.

#1 - July 21, 2008
Airport security is not your friend
After almost two hours of grilling by the US Port Authority, I was finally given the great privilege of being granted travel rights into the booming economy of the US. Not only did security ask me the nature of my trip and duration of my stay - both of which were expected - I was asked who I live with, why I was divorced, my last three jobs, how much money I have in the bank, and my racial background. My bags were searched three times in front of me, with these "freedom protectors" asking me about every single item (including if my Wii games were purchased new). When I arrived in Texas, I opened my suitcases to find that they had been searched again.
Thanks for the note douches. I hope the fat one has clogged arteries.

#2 - July 24, 2008
We have stereotypes for a reason
I was watching the internets when I arrived in San Antonio and discovered that one of my favourite comedians, Lewis Black, was to perform live while I was in town. As I was pulling up to the venue, the traffic cops were having a conversation that involved a lot of eye-rolling and head-shaking. I don't have the energy to type the entire overheard conversation but the punchline was "Yep. Way to many fuckin' lib'rals here. I don't like this shit."

Way to live it down, boys.
(BTW, 5th row seats. Great show!)

#3 - July 26, 2008
When tragedy hits, all bullshit is thrown out of the window.
Sadly, a very good friend passed away this week. A mutual friend, with whom I've had very harsh words over the last year, dropped any disagreements we've had and called to talk about the situation. I appreciated that, and realized that my priorities are not completely out of whack.
I'll miss you, Colleen.

- Sean Jea

Three Things - July 13 - 19, 2008

2008-07-20T07:31:00.016-06:00

Below is three a list of three realizations I've had over the last week. Think of this as a "best-of" for Menial Media. Comments are always welcome!

#1 - July 13, 2008
I'M GETTING OLD
A recent back injury reminded me of just how old I'm getting. While the level of service in the Canadian health care system may not be perfect, the subsidized medication costs have made my recovery, both, affordable and... is "drugtabulously-fantastic" a thing?

#2 - July 14, 2008:
OBAMA WILL BE PRESIDENT
Ol' midget-arms, dandruff-head McCain is looking less and less presidential with every speech. I'm seeing a Kennedy / Nixon scenario all over again. There are only two things going for John McCain right now (courtesy of the Ron & Fez show).
1- He's white
2- The other guy isn't

#3 - July 19, 2008:
I STILL LIKE SOME HIP-HOP
My musical tastes have definitely switched over the last 10 years, or so. This week, I discovered that there's still some great hip-hop out there. On a recent trip from Calgary to Edmonton, I was pleasantly surprised to discover two new albums that definitely make the cut.
First, Kidz in the Hall's In The Crowd.
It may not be as grassroots as it tries to be but In The Crowd is still a welcome change from what has become the norm.

Next, Jean Grae and 9th Wonder's Jeanius.
Jean's monotone voice may not wake you up, but her quick wit will make you think. Jeanius is much more polished album than 2004's This Week, but falls slightly short of 2007's The Orchestral Files.

- SeanJea

Said Cat

2008-07-19T17:35:00.004-06:00

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. My mom's losing her mind. She just found a cat on her porch - the cat had a tattoo in the ear and a collar on - and she's acting like it's her new pet. As I go through boxes, said cat is licking a can of Kokanee that's sitting on the floor.

Good thing I don't have to worry about the whole hereditary thing.
Bad thing that I'm an animal lover, too...

- Sean

Sean's Eye View: Myka and the Wuss-Ribbons

2008-07-18T19:14:00.004-06:00

Myka just got back from the groomer - a place she normally hates. Despite the lady who owns the place stating "we don't do Chow Chows," they took her in and actually did a great job. For $73.35, I would expect nothing less.

I am not, however, a fan of the little pink bows they put in her hair. Walking her home, I felt like a large, black Paris Hilton carrying a bitch dog in a purse.

- Sean

My Neck... My Back

2008-07-18T08:29:00.003-06:00

I had fully planned to head out last night to see The Roots live in Calgary. Unfortunately, the back pains I've been feeling for the last few weeks had become unbearable - except for this one spot, just below my left shoulder blade. When you hit that spot just right, it's fucking orgasmic.

The pain shoots up my spine, starting from my lower back, and ends somewhere behind my sternum. It started around three or four weeks ago, either because I was in the process of moving 17 years worth of records, CDs, clothing, and miscellaneous junk from Calgary to Edmonton, or because I've been constantly chopping wood at camp sites.

So, instead of standing in line for my Roots tickets, I was stretching in a walk-in clinic office. the doctor was cool enough. he was a short Indian guy, and whenever he said "Ice Pack" it sounded like "I-Spac," and I thought that was his prescription. Eventually, I got what he was saying. Now - the next day - I'm hopped up on a horse-pill-looking Robaxisal, Aspirin, and Codeine hybrid called Methoxisal-C1/2.

"Four a day; no heavy lifting; don't forget your I-Spac."

We'll see how this works out.

- Sean

Uphill Inline-Luge

2007-12-30T15:13:00.000-07:00

I had a dream last night that I'd invented a new Winter Olympic event.
Contestants would ride inline skates, uphill, on a luge course.

There were these checkpoints where the Olympiads would earn high-powered bursts of wind. The wind would propel them - hopefully - to the next checkpoint. The first athlete to make it back to the top of the hill - considering their initial downhill time (we'll talk about this in a later post) would win the gold.

There are two flaws.
1- The air bursts must be extremely strong. The initial contact may not be manageable by any human being - thus, this event is not feasible until 2012, when the robots take over.

2- The protective gear is crucial. Countries will have to strategize uniforms to reduce wind resistance due to the air bursts.

Both of these flaws are based on the proximity of the adjacent courses. In order to ensure the athletes' safety, proactive planning must be implemented...

Maybe I should put more thought into this...

Bugger off, twats

2007-07-25T19:39:00.000-06:00

I'm drinking with the brits, starting a new job, and on summer vacation. I can't update every day.

Just because I love you bunch of chavs, here's a video that has been keeping me entertained for the last week.

- Love,
Ajay

P.S. - Don't forget to vote in the Podcast Peer Awards for All Axis Radio!

Is 'The Quest' Over?

2007-06-29T14:37:00.001-06:00

Disclaimer: For anonymity's sake, I've changed the name of the sender, the business, and the recipient in this post. The sender will be known as "Douchie LeWorkhorse." The business: "Clusterfuckers." And the recipient will be, well, me. "Ajay." This letter is being rewritten accurately - grammatical errors and all - to don't chew me out for the run-on sentences. Thank you.
-Ajay - All Axis Radio and Menial Media

As you all know, I've been trying to lose my job since, oh, about January of 2007. An archive of installments of the "Quest for Fired" audio segments can be found in previous episodes of All Axis Radio.

The following is a letter that was delivered, via courier, to my house while I was at Podcasters Across Borders. I'll be following up on the letter with a few strategically-placed phone calls. Stay tuned to All Axis Radio for the updates.

"Dear Ajay,

We are concerned with your whereabouts and your failure to report to work.

Please note that we have attempted to contact you in order to discuss the reason why you have not been at work, namely on June 19th, 20th, 21st, and 22nd. We have attempted to reach you on several occasions, including June 19th, 20th, 21st, and 22nd, to no avail.

Attendance is a fundamental requirement of your employment and it is your obligation to keep us informed of your whereabouts. You are responsible to work the shifts that you have been scheduled for and to contact your immediate supervisor to report any unscheduled absences from work before the start of each and every shift. To date, you have failed to contact us and inform us that you would not be available to work.

This letter is to confirm that that we expect you to report directly to me, Douchie LeWorkhorse, at our office either by telephone at (***) ***-**** or in person at **** ** Street no later than 9:00 a.m. on June 28th. If we do not hear from you by this time, we will assume that you have resigned from your position and we will have no alternative but to terminate your employment with Clusterfuckers.

Yours truly,

Clusterfuckers Inc.
Douchie LeWorkhorse

PABlurbs

2007-06-23T22:27:00.000-06:00

The following are random thoughts, blurbs, puch lines, and brain farts collected over the Podcasters Across Borders weekend and the following three days. When I can, I’ll credit the source, but to be honest, some of those moments are quite fuzzy in my memory…
I can’t imagine why.

Anyway, away we go!
--------
Amaya: “Were you in the room when the French guy got naked?”
Ajay: “Luckily, no. I never want to see a French guy”

“Am I, seriously, sitting in Hooters, with a dude, Googling Jon Crier?” - Ajay

“You could tell he was Jewish, I’ll just say” – Chris Sherry

“There aren’t enough bees in this ice cream!” – Jay Moonah in a running joke between Jay, Bill Deys, and myself. Explaining it would be futile.

“You wouldn’t like me when I’m ankley” – Chris Sherry (possibly the line of the weekend)

Amaya: “Britney or Christina?”
Ajay: “Britney, ‘cause she’s filthy. You could do anything you want to her.”
Amaya: “Yeah, she’s already dead inside”

“Clean the sand out of your vagina, Ajay” – Brent the Closet Geek

“I’ll have the Stuttered Pork, please.”- Chris Sherry / Ajay

“Love is a Hooter’s receipt” – Chris Sherry

Amaya: “I spy with my little eye, something that is black”
Ajay: “Is it me?”
Amaya: “Yes. Yes, it is.”

Amaya: “Ben Mulrooney looks like if Donny Osmond had a baby with a monkey.”
Chris Sherry: “Donny Osmonkey”

“Y’know, the Pizza Hut’s open until 11:00, and it’s only 12:20” – Brent the Closet Geek

“Just don’t dink my Steamwhistle!”

“For just pennies a day!” – Bill Deys (in context, this one made me fall out of a chair, and both Bill and Amaya had to leave the hotel)

“Check out the ‘geek’ on her!” – Chris Sherry

“Oh, My God! Viagra’s on sale!” – Daryl Cognito displays his mild Tourettes while checking his email.

Ajay: “I wonder if the Queen has a sex hat.”
Chris: “It’d probably have a handle on the top of it.”

“White Beer. I see. I guess I’m not allowed to drink that.” - Ajay

“I think it’s the theme for a gay talk show, or something." – Chris Sherry trying to figure out where he’s heard The Robert Farell Band’s Sidewinder.

“Daryl is like a black woman. Ashy and high maintenance.” - Ajay

“Why does the sailor from the Village People keep dying?” – Chris Sherry

“How long have you known Ed Begley Jr.?” – Ajay to Mark Blevis

“Waiter, this soup needs more pubic hair.” – Ajay, in an ongoing joke about a restaurant that serves Mono-laced food.

“It’s only big enough to remove fingers” (If anyone knows the context for this line, please get in touch with me.)

“I don’t like Cheese, anyway.” – Chris Sherry

“I need to go somewhere straighter” - Ajay

“Are you a bald?” – A stagette attendee asking Ajay to help complete the bride’s list for the night. There’s a video of it on YouTube and Break.com

“Terry Fox was a quitter!”- Tom from Squeezebox and Ajay, and yes, anyone who laughs at this one is going straight to hell.

“They brought them here from Andrew to see cars.” – Chris Sherry

“Daryl Cognito as: The Phantom Nudger!” – Ajay / Chris Sherry

“My neck gets itchy every time I hear a banjo.” - Ajay

Canada's Next Top Martyr

2007-06-23T08:02:00.000-06:00

Brent the Closet Geek, Amaya from Uncle Seth, Chris Sherry from Kaflooey, and myself went on a pizza hunt last night, at around one o’clock in the morning, in Kingston, Ontario. Naturally, we had no clue where we were going, and had to ask random people on the street for directions.

“Three blocks up,” everyone said. Regardless of how many blocks we actually walked, the response was always “three blocks up.”

So, we walked. Three blocks here, and three blocks there. No luck. Eventually I saw a woman walking towards us, and decided to take one last shot.

“Do you know where we can find some pizza?”

“Hey, fuck you! Because you know what? Nobody’s gonna give you shit.”

Eyes glazed over, and barely able to focus. ‘Connie,’ if that is her real name, went on a verbal tirade on how tough it has been for her, being a Native woman in Canada; the pressures of race, gender, perception, and class dragging her down.

I looked over at Amaya, and there was a look of inherent pity and familiarity on her face. I pulled out my portable recorder as Chris kept the questions coming. ‘Connie’ was more than willing to talk – though, her responses were interrupted by the occasional twitch, stumble, or reflex expletive aimed in our general direction. Not maliciously, mind you, just raw, automated reactions, that she keeps stored near the front of her psyche as an offensive tactic. Or, is it defensive? Sometimes, I have a hard time differentiating between the two.

Almost 30 minutes later, her point was still not made. That’s not to say we didn’t understand what she wanted to say, but somewhere between her brain and her mouth, there was such a retardation of thought. By the time the words came out of her mouth, I’m convinced that even she didn’t recognize them anymore.

Eventually, she made a point – whether it was valid or not, I can’t remember. She gestured with her hand. As she accidentally slapped my arm, and my recorder slipped from my grip and fell to the sidewalk, ‘Connie’ looked at me and said…

“You guys don’t even care about me, do you?”

The four of us stood, silently, for around six seconds, staring at nothing in particular. With the memory of a drunken goldfish, ‘Connie’ blinked, switched her focus, and continued berating herself, her life, her relationships, and society’s treatment of people like her – whatever that means. Wash, rinse, and repeat.

We invited her to join us for pizza, but ‘Connie’ had better things to do.

- Ajay

Tagged - The un-official PAB2007 Meme

2007-06-18T07:25:00.000-06:00

Looks like I was double-tagged with the un-official Podcasters Across Borders meme, so I'd better fill it in. Thanks to Daryl Cognito and Lord Blevis for tagging me.
Besides -- there's a good chance I'll need this to jog my memory after being unceremoniously clubbed and tossed over the starboard during the cruise.

Giddy-up!

1. Why are you coming to PAB?
Mostly for the networking opportunities. There are dozens of Podcast producers to whom I look up, and many of them are going to be at PAB this year. I'd really like to observe some of the recording techniques they use, and improve the sound of my own shows.

2. A little homework now: Which PAB registrants would you like to meet? Why?
I'm really looking forward to meeting some of the registrants I've spoken to, but have never met, like Scarborough Dude, Charles Cadenhead, Mark and Bob, Brent the Closet Geek, and Bill Deys. It'll also be great to get back together with those I've met before: Bruce Murray, AndyCaster, Chris Sherry, Julien...
The three-hour flight with Daryl Cognito will be heavenly, I'm sure. Remind me not to forget my Ambien.

3. Who is your “dream interview” for your podcast? Why?
I'm a fumbling fuddy-duddy when it comes to interviews, so I'm going to go with "nobody."

4. Who would you like to interview at PAB?
Someone who hosts/ produces a show that I know nothing about, and have never listened to.

5. What is your, “Can’t miss it” session at PAB?
"Authentic Voice" and "Storytelling for Podcasts" have both caught my interest.

6. What is your favorite podcast?
I'm a big fan of comedy podcasts. Overall, I'd have to go with Distorted View -- though, it's not for the squeamish.

7. What is your favorite web resource?
Google. Shocker, right?

8. Who is your favorite podsafe musician?
Tough question, as the lines separating "podsafe" and not are quickly blurring. Jonathan Coulton, I'll say, for dedication, understanding of the medium, and consistency.

9. Ginger or Maryanne?
Ginger was a tease. Maryanne's a country girl. Living in Alberta, I know all about them folk ;')

10. Bob, Mark, or Tod?
Which one freed the slaves, again?

TAG! - Eight Things...

2007-06-15T14:08:00.000-06:00

All right, Dani. Fair's fair, and since I'll be away for the weekend, I'll play along.

My list of 8 things you might not know (or maybe you do, which means I need to shut up about my life for god's sake) about me:

1. I was all-city Defensive End in High-School Football and held the QB sack record for three years.
2. I have broken eight bones, all at different times.
3. I own an extensive vinyl collection of over 7,000 records. The original collection was lost in a burglary.
4. I was adopted when I was 10 days old to a family of a different race.
5. I hate the sound of raking leaves.
6. A friend's dad once convinced me that I was eating shark meat -- it was avacado.
7. I have hurt more people than have hurt me.
8. I hid an 80-pound dog, from my landlord, in an apartment for over a year and a half.

-----------------
Alright, it's tag time. I'm going with:

Corby
Bob Goyetche
Jay Moonah
Steve and Maureen Loopipe
Morning Brewcast

Giddy-Up!

- Ajay

Welcome To...

2007-05-21T05:49:00.000-06:00

My Spring Frustration

Date: May 21, 2007
Time: 5:49 am
Place: My office window
Mood: Anxious, yet subdued
What I saw when I looked out of the window: Snow. Seriously - snow, in the last week of May, when I was supposed to go camping this weekend. If Mother Nature thinks she's going to shit on my summer again, she'd better call Al Gore for backup, 'cause I'll take a case of aerosol hairspray and fix this issue permanently, if I have to.

*45 minutes later*

Of course, I was kidding. The earth is a rare commodity. Without snow, how would we... well... hold on, what purpose does snow serve, anyway?

I don't own a GT Snowracer, nor do I participate in the Luge. All of my "permafrost" is in the freezer, and when it comes to recreational sports, I'll take inline skating over ice skating, anyday.

I'm starting to wonder: 'Do I live in the right country?'

- Ajay

... because I hate Scooter Pies, too.

2007-05-10T16:36:00.000-06:00

As I walk out of the hospital, reflecting on all of the fine medical practitioners who pulled me from my potential early grave, I can't help but pose the question...

If I were on Scrubs, which character would I be?

Nappy-Headed Bro #4

2007-05-10T14:30:00.000-06:00

I was given some promising news before my last 20-minute nap.

"if your 2pm nap goes well, you won't need to stay for the last one."

GREAT, right? I get to leave this active murder parlour early, go home, and relax with a beer in my hand.

Well, as you all know by now, things rarely go my way. By-The-Books 40-something just informed me that they're going to need me for the whole day.

I'll be adding some great pics tomorrow. Can't wait to get out of here and continue procrastinating.

Nappy-Headed Bro #3

2007-05-10T12:21:00.000-06:00

HE EXISTS! The Indian doctor was not a figment of my imagination.
Too bad he's a bit of an asshat.

So, for the duration of my 24-Hour sleep observation, I've been taking 20-minute naps every two hours. Afterwards, I need to write down what I'd dreamed about.

I usually have a pretty easy time remembering dreams, as I'm not much of a deep sleeper. Needless to say, this leads to some pretty f'd up memories.

All I can say is, this last one involved two of the Ghostbusters coming into my room to fix the furnace, an earthquake, and a giant conveyor belt that saved humanity.

Pray for me.

Nappy-Headed Bro #2

2007-05-10T10:20:00.000-06:00

Up from my second "nap" for the day. I put "nap" in quotation marks, because it really amounted to me staring at a hospital ceiling for 20 minutes.

I've been trying to grab some audio of my interaction with the doctors, and was doing pretty well. Until...
After By-The-Book 40-Something turned off the lights this time around, I completely forgot about the camera watching me.

When she came in to turn the lights on after 20 minutes, she asked what I was reaching for.

With sloth-like reflexes, and the eloquence of Jim Belushi in a tutu, I stuttered out, "there was a light flashing. I forgot to turn my phone off".

Crisis averted, and mankind can go on to illegally record unknowing bystanders for the purpose of online broadcasting yet another day.

You can all thank me later.

Nappy-Headed Bro #1

2007-05-10T08:20:00.000-06:00

Just finished my first 20-minute nap of the day. So far, I've had three different doctors.

Doctor #1 was the cute one. I haven't seen her since 6 this morning, when she was ripping the flesh from my legs in quarter-sized sections.

Doctor #2 was this Indian guy. He, basically, walked in, introduced himself, and disappeared. Maybe I imagined him.

Doctor #3 is this By-The-Books 40-something lady. She's nice enough, but I'm pretty much ready to go home at this point.

Before the first nap, By-The-Books 40-something gave me some good news. Apparently, based on my overnight study, my Apnea is very mild, and may even be solved by simply getting my tonsils out. Something to look into later.

After the nap, she asked me a few questions: how long I think it took me to fall asleep; did I dream; is that a polish sausage in your shorts...

My next nap is in, about, an hour and a half. For now, I'm going to walk around the hospital with all of this crap hanging off of my face, and see if I can scare any kids.

... Eggs & Bacey

2007-05-10T06:50:00.000-06:00

When you wake up to a sadistic nurse - regardless of how cute she is - ripping glue-connected electrodes from your hairy legs, you can't help but think: "today can only go uphill from here."

It's the morning after the initial overnight sleep study. I have to say, that was the absolute worst night of sleep I've ever had.
First, they decided to give me the ol' trifecta. That's: crap stuck all over my body, a microphone attached underneath my chin, and a breathing mask that limited my movement to 3 degrees.

The video camera watching me all night was a bonus.

Then, and this, to me, defeats the purpose of the study, cute nurse came into my room every hour to "check on me." Not that I minded that part.

Now I'm told that for the rest of the day, I'll be taking 20-minute naps every two hours.

Isn't that what drove Kramer to hate crimes and public lynchings?

Darth Respirator

2007-05-09T22:49:00.000-06:00

Thank God for cute nurses. If it weren't for them, I may actually see a down side to someone rubbing me down with alcohol, attaching wires to my special places, and videotaping the whole thing.

So, the fine people at Foothills Medical Centre finally got me all hooked up. It took a bit longer than usual, as some of the machinery was defective, but they figured it out.

Also, I just found out this hospital doesn't have a wireless connection, so I'm sending these updates from my BlackBerry Pearl. Will be adding some pics tomorrow.

Whoops! Looks like it's time for my anal probe... Wait... That doesn't sound neces...

Garlic Doc and the Stink Observation

2007-05-09T17:33:00.001-06:00

In about three hours, I'm off for my 24-hour sleep observation.

In honour of this day, and my hatred for doctors, male nurses, IVs, old-people smell and public restrooms, I've decided to prepare a little gift for the attendings at Foothills Hospital in Calgary. For the last six hours, I've been eating nothing but garlic.

Roasted, raw, chopped -- it really doesn't matter.

Here's to you, stink-doc!

- Ajay

Blog Tag: 7 Songs I'm Into Right Now

2007-05-09T15:10:00.000-06:00

Okay, so Daryl N. Cognito from Atomic Suburbia recently tagged me with this one. Problem was, I didn't have a blog at the time (unless you count my semi-coherent ramblings on podCALGARY.org). Anyway, here we go, in no particular order...

7 songs I am really into:

"Dropkick Queen of the Weekend" - The Dudes
"Ship of Fools" - Robert Plant
"Know The Ledge" - Rakim
"Aqua Teen Hunger Force" - Schoolly D
"25 or 6 to 4" - Chicago
"New and Exciting Direction" - The New Deal
"Lifetime" - Mos Def

The rules are that, when you’re tagged, you link to everyone in the chain in your entry, including this post, The “tagged” people are: Ajay, Steve Klassen, Aaron, Dan & CJ, Alyssa, Daryl N. Cognito, Mrs. B, Chris Penn, Chris Brogan, Eban Crawford, AndyCast, Dani and Aidan Hatch.

So, now I guess it's my turn to annoy people. Might as well start at the top! I tag Mark Blevis, Corby, Brent the Closet Geek, and Systris

My head hurts.

- Ajay

Of Mice And Mice

2007-04-25T00:37:00.000-06:00

As I type this, I'm trying out Logitech's V270 Bluetooth mouse for the first time. Let me first state that -- while I am a tech whore -- I am, in no way, a "tech guy." I'd elaborate, but I'm still comparing the features of this mouse to those of the Microsoft's Wireless Notebook 8000. , which I'd attempted to try out earlier today.

Let me elaborate.

I'm currently using a 15" Apple PowerBook for all of my audio, video, text, and picture files. Unfortunately (and thanks to The Legend of Zelda), I'm a consummate multi-tasker. As a result, it's not unusual to have six, seven, or eight applications open at a time. Seeing as this PowerBook only has two USB ports -- and hubs suck balls -- I'd recently decided to upgrade to a Bluetooth mouse.

All research bullshit aside, I'd narrowed it down to two items:

Let's start with the Microsoft mouse, shall we?

Off the bat, I was a little skeptical. The only one left at the local Staples was open-package, and on sale from $119.00 to $79.94 (those of you who've worked in retail know that ".94" isn't a good sign). Regardless, I decided to give it a try. I'd soon realized that, in order for the mouse to be compatible with my Mac, I had to keep the dongle inserted. An hour later, after troubleshooting, searching message board posts and engaging in trial-and-error, I'd decided to pack it in and return the Microsoft mouse to the store.
This is a shame, because the look, features, and feel of the mouse were exactly what I was searching for. Damn shame. Damn, hell shame.

The Logitech mouse worked right out of the box. That's it: put the batteries in, configure it once, and it's set for life. Convenient? Yep. Responsive? Uh-huh. Pretty? Meh. Feature-packed? well... this is where is really falls short. In its' defense, the Logitech mouse is quite a bit cheaper than the Microsoft.
Response time is good. I've noticed a few jerks and slow reactions, but then again, I'm not gaming -- just editing. If I were, this gripe may be a bigger thing.

Overall, I haven't had any major issues with the Logitech V270 Bluetooth mouse. It's definitely worth a shot, and the price-point is right. Now, granted, I haven't given the Apple Mighty Mouse a go yet. Also, issues with longevity, battery life and cross-application functionality may pop up. At almost half the price, though, the Logitech is a suitable placeholder until I figure out exactly what it is I'm looking for.

Take care, kids!

- Ajay